today my mood has really reached pit bottom.
feel helpless and uncertain.
what does the future hold for me?
having lots of mixed feelings.
on one hand, i feel glad that i have the family of God to go through this with me
most imptly, i have God
but somehow singing "God will make a way" only managed to pacify my heart for a few moments and that's it.
on the other hand, it's pessimism, fear, hurts and what have you.

i'm sure i'm in for a big "treat".
time of testings and trials.
time to learn to have joy in God unconditionally.
time to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith.
time to let the wog lead me rather than my emotions.
it's time for growth.

oh Lord, how?
i have no one else to turn to.